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Understanding Grief ›
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Understanding grief ›
- Truths about grief
- What grief looks and feels like
- Common challenges with grief
- Grieving before the loss
- Ideas for living with loss
- Grief triggers
- How long grief lasts
- How the loss affects families and others
- When life starts to get better
- Special dates
- Rituals, funerals, and memorials
- Do I need more help?
- Prolonged grief
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Grief, roles, and identity ›
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Grieving a Death ›
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Your relationship ›
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The situation ›
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Non-death Loss ›
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Supporting Someone ›
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Professionals & Volunteers ›
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Resources & More ›
Do I more need help?
While many people move through the intensity of grief on their own or with the support of friends and family, others experience prolonged distress and find it difficult to engage with anyone or anything. If you find that the intensity of your grief isn’t changing or is worsening, it is important to consult with a healthcare professional or an experienced grief counsellor.
If you are through the naturally intense early weeks and months following the loss, here are some signs you may need help with your grief:
- Your thoughts are mostly or all about the person who died or about their death
- The intensity of your grief remains very high or is increasing
- You avoid reminders of the loss or the person who died
- You have extreme difficulty with your usual activities (relationships, work, school, health, hygiene)
- You feel that life is meaningless or pointless
- You have thoughts of suicide
You may feel so low that you or the people in your life wonder if you are depressed. Many of the impacts of loss and grief are similar to the symptoms of depression. For example, people experiencing grief or depression may feel any of the following:
- Lack of motivation
- Hopelessness about the future
- Intense sadness, despair, and fatigue.
People who are grieving generally feel these things in relation to the loss, while people who are depressed feel them in relation to the world in general.
If you are worried that you are depressed or that your grief is getting worse, talk with a healthcare provider. They can help assess your needs and direct you to appropriate support as needed.
You may start to feel stuck if you have no break in the intensity of your grief or if your thoughts about the loss are so intense or overwhelming that you avoid feeling anything. However, if you avoid everything that reminds you of the person who died or their death, your grieving process may be disrupted. Withdrawing from daily life and other people will also interfere with your ability to adjust to your loss and grief.
See also:
Thoughts of harming yourself may be frightening, especially if this is the first time this has happened. It is essential that you share these thoughts with people you trust and that you seek help.
- It is an emergency if you begin to research ways or make plans to kill yourself. Call 911 immediately, or ask a trusted friend or family member to take you to the hospital.
If you think about killing yourself regularly, even if you have no intention or plan, tell your friends and family, and make an appointment to talk about it with your doctor or a mental health professional. Whether your thoughts are frequent or rare, you can always call your provincial crisis agency.
Support can come from a variety of places and people. It takes courage to reach out and start a conversation about your mental health and safety, but it is the most important step you can take to get the help you need at this incredibly difficult time.
Friends and family
Reach out to friends and family who have been supportive to you in the past. If they are also grieving, you may be worried about burdening them with your own thoughts and feelings. Grief shared can be helpful to both of you and together you can seek out other resources that may help.
Faith or spiritual community
You may find strength and guidance in a religious or spiritual community. Trusted leaders within may be able to guide and support you through this difficult time.
Grief support groups
A grief support group may help by providing an opportunity to share your story, where you can both give and receive support with others going through loss. Often, a trained peer facilitator or mental health professional guides the discussion.
Support groups (in-person or online) can be found through health and community centres, hospices, and faith-based organizations. Your healthcare provider may also help you to find these resources.
Counselling
Counselling with a licensed professional may also be helpful. If you are employed, check to see if your health plan includes an Employee Assistance Program or coverage for private counselling. If you choose to see a counsellor, ask if they have experience in grief counselling.
While most people are able to move through their grief, some have more difficulty. Grieving people can also become depressed. If there is no improvement in how you are feeling after several months, seek help. If you are thinking of harming yourself, seek help immediately.
See also:
- MyGrief.ca Module 8 - Do I need more help and where to find it
- MyGrief.ca Module 28 - Prolonged grief
Video Gallery
Resources
We can all experience grief in many ways, and the support you need will be different for someone else. But an important part of starting to move forward with your grief is knowing where to go and who ... Read more
We can all experience grief in many ways, and the support you need will be different for someone else. But an important part of starting to move forward with your grief is knowing where to go and who ... Read more
