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Understanding Grief ›
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Understanding grief ›
- Truths about grief
- What grief looks and feels like
- Common challenges with grief
- Grieving before the loss
- Ideas for living with loss
- Grief triggers
- How long grief lasts
- How the loss affects families and others
- When life starts to get better
- Special dates
- Rituals, funerals, and memorials
- Do I need more help?
- Prolonged grief
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Grief, roles, and identity ›
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Grieving a Death ›
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Your relationship ›
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The situation ›
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Non-death Loss ›
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Supporting Someone ›
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Professionals & Volunteers ›
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Resources & More ›
When life starts to get better
You may feel surprised and even challenged by unexpected changes or improvements in your mood or outlook on life. For example, you may feel guilty about your life moving forward without the person who died. It may help to know that, for many people, a time comes when they start to feel better.
How does “feeling better” look?
- Your grief is not as sharp and not as constant
- You are more accepting of the death
- You have more energy
- You are more able to make decisions
- You are starting to enjoy life again
- You are making new plans
- You are more open to change
How can I keep the person who died in my life?
Relationships do not end when someone important to us dies. They continue in a different way.
- At first, it is common to focus on what you have lost. It may help to think about important experiences you shared and how your bond remains.
- You may want to reflect on the person’s interests, views, and values and to identify ways they might continue to guide and influence you.
- You may recognize that you continue to be influenced by the person who died, as you remember their ways, views, and values.
Am I ready to start a new relationship?
After some time, you may start to think about companionship. It may help to consider:
- It is possible to enjoy a new relationship and remain connected to the person who died.
- A new relationship will require time and energy, and can bring hope and joy.
- If you have children, be aware of and sensitive to their needs when introducing a new person into your life.
“It took me some time to feel okay enough to even consider dating … I am slowly learning that I can still be loyal to my deceased husband, and also be happy with another.”
If you feel overwhelmed or “stuck” please talk to a health professional or trusted leader in your community such as a doctor, chaplain, nurse practitioner, social worker or school administrator. These trusted people may be able to connect you with appropriate programs, resources, and other forms of needed support such as grief counselling or medical care. You may be able to access counselling services if you have an Extended Health Plan, or through an employee assistance program. It will be important that they have experience in grief counselling. If you have thoughts of or plans to harm yourself or others, go to your nearest Emergency Department, call your local Crisis Line, or call or text 9-8-8 if you are in Canada. It is essential that you reach out for help.
See also:
- Do I need more help?
- MyGrief.ca Module 8 - Do I need more help and where to find it
As you start to move forward with your life, you may have conflicting and confusing feelings. Often your relationship with the person who died continues as a kind of internal connection. In time, you may be ready to start new relationships. You may need to be prepared for your family to have difficulty adjusting.
See also:
- MyGrief Module 9 - When life starts to get better
Video Gallery
Resources
Stephen Colbert describes his experience with grief and what can be learned from grieving.
Stephen Colbert describes his experience with grief and what can be learned from grieving.
