Special dates

Grieving when others are celebrating can be especially difficult—for example, during the holidays or other times of joyful celebration. These times are often infused with shared traditions, social gatherings, and rich memories that can intensify your grief.

Whether your loss is recent or happened several years ago, grief can surge when it feels like someone is missing from a special occasion. You may feel that others expect everyone to be “happy” or grateful during these times, and this may cause you distress or worry about bringing down the mood. Openness, flexibility, and communication make it easier to navigate these times.

Whether or not you want to join in celebrations may change from day to day, so keep invitations and plans open and flexible. Consider ways to acknowledge your grief and honour your loss as a part of these celebrations. You might share stories, light a candle, or create a special place to share memories. It's okay to join an occasion even if your heart isn't in it. Once you're there, you may be surprised to find that you're enjoying yourself. Or you may attend, realize that it's not the right time for you, and choose to leave early. It may help to tell your host in advance that you may show up or cancel at the last minute, or you may leave early. Wherever you go, you may find that your grief goes with you. Plan to take breaks away from others to give yourself some moments alone for reflection or call on others who can provide comfort if your grief surfaces.

 

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